Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Maybe You Shouldn't be Reading My Blog

Newbie Mom me, with questions and doubts flaring up, sat down in the rocking chair beside Experienced Mom and started to nurse my baby.

This moment, and the ones opened by this moment, have changed the way I look at mothering. 
Actually, these moments have changed the way I look at living. 

I didn't just sit in that rocking chair, I watched in that rocking chair. I talked and, more importantly, I asked. 

That Experienced Mom rocking beside me was nursing baby number five. She had a wealth of success and failure and progress and missteps and I picked that poor mama's brain squeaky-clean.

Do you know what is easier than asking other for advice?


Isn't it? Isn't it quicker and less involved to ask strangers on the World Wide Web for their input? 

When our cake flops, we check in with Google.
When our kindergartener's attitude is lacking, we ask Google. 
When the grass won't grow in the side yard, Google saves the day.
When our marriage hits a crummy patch, Hello Google!

Gosh, I like hitting those keys. I probably type a question every single day of my every single life.

But may I suggest something simple and old fashioned as an alternative?


A mentor is an experienced one whom you trust, and they just might give the www a run for it's money.

Because here is what I have learned about mentors: I can see their fruits. Those people are in my line of sight. I can see their faces and their reactions, watch their children, taste their cakes and check out their side yards. They are verifiable. 

I have had many mentors speak into my life. Some knew it and others did not. For some, I asked and they agreed to be intentional with me for a season. For others, I periodically fired questions by text and they probably thought of me as just a friend. It can look a hundred different ways. 

There are two things mentors have going for them that Google does not:

1. Relationship
We know that we were created for relationships. We were meant to live in the back and forth, the dialogue and the affection. We do not grow businesses, raise babies or chase dreams in isolation. We need The Village.

2. Accountability
Just because Google gives us great advice, doesn't mean that we are going to understand it or follow it. But mentors are so much better; they check up on us because they care. And we don't really know how well that brilliant blogger practices patience with their kids; they could be fibbing. Accountability goes both ways.

Is there any area in your life that you feel stuck in or wish for more insight? 

Is there someone in your life that you look at and go "I love how they do that"? If so, that person might just make a great mentor for you. 

My husband once had the audacity to ask a highly respected pastor in our city to mentor him in Jesus' ways. Ten years later, my husband still talks about how that giant man shaped the way he studied the Bible and thought about God.

So maybe you shouldn't be reading my blog. At least as a substitute for face-to-face. Maybe we should all be pivoting in our seats and craning our necks to find a real Google-less Mentor to learn from.

As I look back on the Sheldon and Annes, the Sharons, the Jens, the Aunties and Mamas in my life, it hits me how much I would have lost if I had befriended Google instead. 

May we ask more questions and type fewer.

And how about you? How have mentors influenced you? Who has spoken loudly and with skill into your life?

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