Thursday, January 12, 2012

My Ramblings- Sickness and Comfort

What happens when one of my kids get sick? Of course I do the motherly things, feel their foreheads, ask them where it hurts, holler "don't throw up on the carpet!" whenever I hear feet shuffling in the hall. Very kind of me I know.


And then I pray for them. My prayers usually sound something like 
    Please God, let this one be short lived. 
    Please God, keep the other kids from getting sick too.


Disclaimer: even though I have had one kiddo with medical issues (he has a feeding tube because he was not gaining weight) I do not know what it is like to deal with life threatening illnesses in my family. If you have, than my deepest sympathies. What I'm talking about are ear infections, flu and the like. Please don't be a hater.


See, if I'm really honest, I don't like to be inconvenienced with fevers, staying home, and cleaning up carpet. Maybe I should holler louder. Hmm.


I have a problem with this. Something about the prayer and the attitude is just not sitting well with me. It really got to me the week of Thanksgiving last year when it was me who was sick.


Holidays are sucky times to be sick. I missed going to Ohio and hanging with my family and baking the first Christmas cookies. The first day of being sick is usually ok with me. Oh look I can just lay on my couch and sleep and watch some TV. Then it wears off really soon. I remember laying around day after day, popping every vitamin I could find, drinking way more water than I was comfortable with, and just feeling very whiney about the whole thing. 


And then God reminded me.


I wish I could share a picture. Dang.


God reminded me of people who are really sick. Moms dying of AIDS in front of their kids specifically. My pain, eased by Tylenol and a soft couch, pales in comparison to that scene of hopelessness. Knowing that some moms are in tremendous physical pain with nothing to ease it; no medications, no soft mattress, maybe no cool water, no soothing throat lozenges. And then the emotional pain of knowing that after you are gone there is no one to look after your kids. What will happen to them? 


Aaaaa! My brain can't even really wrap around that. What?


To not have a dad or a grandma or even a neighbor that would be able to babysit for a few hours. To have to send your toddlers out to scavenge for food. To see fear in their eyes when they realize that something is desperately wrong with their situation. 


And then what about after you are completely gone? Will they find enough food to survive? Will bad people find them? What will happen to my kids??


This is not my life but it is the life of many. 
Last year 1.8 million people died of AIDS. 
1.2 million of those deaths took place in Sub-Sahara Africa.
So the number of children orphans by AIDS has reached 16.6 million.


Oh God, remind me often of what you have given me. Remind me of how rich I am so that I don't waste one breath complaining.


Turn my prayers from the selfish 
    Please give me an easy time of it 
to 
   Wow! I am so stinking blessed. What do you want me to do? How can I share what I have? 







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