Sunday, February 19, 2012


I'm thinking about my baby boy. Again. Is it really again if you never stop? 

My heart feels split. For a few days this week it was hard for me to focus on my kids here because it felt like my brain was 50% here and 50% there.

photo from google

"Don't worry. Don't be afraid." 

Last weekend as we prayed about making Baby J a part of our family, these are the words God spoke to me over and over. I'm not a particularly fearful person. I'm one of those moms who lets her kids slide down the banister and installed a rock climbing wall in her playroom. See, not normally fearful.

But fear wants to creep in on my brain. See Baby J has some medical things going on. Possibly serious but unknown conditions. He had a number of seizures. What is the long term damage? We don't know. Doctors don't know. He could be practically unaffected. Or not. His brain function and his eye sight could be compromised.

"Don't worry. Don't be afraid."

There are hundreds of things I don't know but there are two things I do know.

1. This is my baby.
2. God says not to worry and he knows what's going on.
3. I trust God. No matter what.

Who's counting anyway?

Please pray for our baby! 

My God is Healer and he can do anything! My God is Redeemer and he is making something new and beautiful here!

Ok, my head is full and really tired of thinking these same thoughts over and over. My hubby has the chainsaw thing going pretty strong there on his pillow. Maybe I should join him.

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