Friday, April 27, 2012

Layers of Lessons

Over the last few weeks our family experienced a lot of disappointment and loss.

If you have been reading the password protected blog than you have heard the cruddy and the sad. We were matched with a little boy and went to pick him up only to discover that his needs were much more severe than we had anticipated. After a week of parenting this adorable baby, we did not have peace about bringing him home.

God showed up and gave us direction. It seemed mind-blowing.

What? Leave him there? He's not our son? How could we do that? He has already been abandoned once, twice before.

But God is for the lonely, the hurt, the orphan, the marginalized. We want to be on God's team.

This doesn't make sense. Did we really misunderstand God? How could we have gotten this wrong?

While we were in Uganda we had many more questions than answers. Slowly some things are becoming  clear. There are so many things God is trying to teach me. Years from now I will still be peeling layers of lessons from this season.

3 lessons are doing jigs in my heart, demanding attention.

#1. God will do what God wants to do. 
I'm not in a bitter place, don't read that as if I were angry. I'm not.

People may make plans in their minds,
but the Lord decides what they will do.
Proverbs 16:9 

The Lord says, "My thoughts are not like your thoughts.
Your ways are not like my ways."
Isaiah 55:8

If I really believe that last verse, than I shouldn't be shocked when God's plans make absolutely no sense to me. Right? Like I'm somewhere near the intelligence level of the Creator. Snort!

I go back to what I know about God:
        He is GOOD and He is SMARTER THAN ME.

Why did all the the kids have to come along and fall in love with this baby, only to be told he's not your brother after all, so sorry kids? 

I don't really know.

Why didn't God let us know before that this wasn't our baby? If he could speak to us in Uganda surely he could speak to us in America, right?

I don't really know.

But you know what?

I'm ok with not knowing.

God is GOOD and He is SMARTER THAN ME.

#2. Nothing tops the Peace of God.
Not even Scripture.

Did I freak ya out with that?

I love Scripture! It is beautiful, it is truth, it sheds light. I try to read it every day. We memorize it.

But without the Spirit showing us how to work out the Scripture in our real lives...


That week in Uganda I was very confused. In the last few months I had been devouring the book of Isaiah. This one chapter in particular was ALIVE for me!

The pull inside of me went like this:

Share your food with the hungry and 
bring poor, homeless people into your own home.
Isaiah 58:7


 there is NO PEACE in my heart!

And when we followed the peace, all the way to saying no to this baby, WE WERE NOT DISAPPOINTED! 

God's peace held us, wiped our tears, whispered "no guilt," and gave us the courage to tell our parents, pastors, kids, friends, agency, and even the lawyer and the judge.

And may I say, when your heart has been in an unrestful place for awhile, when the peace of God takes over, it makes everything bearable! More than bearable, almost EASY!

Thank God for PEACE!

#3. Will have to wait for another time.

I have to say yet, that I never imagined people would be so gracious to us. Never imagined. I expected some criticism and judgement but it didn't ever really come. So many kind words, so many messages, so many I'm praying for you's.

Friends, you have been so kind and so gracious and you make God's family look so awesome!

You have blown me away! 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

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