Monday, April 29, 2013

I am No Super

There is nothing like bringing a new kid into your home to bring out your weakness. But then again, I should speak for myself.

There was nothing like bringing my daughter home to bring out my weakness.

I said it. 

I'm not SuperWoman, I'm not SuperMom, I'm not SuperChristian.



Some things I'm not good at, I didn't even know I should be good at.

For instance, if your newly-homed girlie disobeys you and she is on the recliner for time out, screaming mad... if, after the 3 minutes is over, you pick her up and there is a dark and warm spot under her, what should be done?

Hmm, I had never stopped to plan on that little event.

What does a mama do when the English language is not doing anything for the conversation you are trying to have? And dang it! the mom really needs to communicate something!

What do you do when your tired kid lays in bed for an hour for an unknown reason? Why doesn't she fall asleep? Is she afraid? She's not crying. She's not even looking sad. Hmm. She just went potty, has a full tummy and the house is quiet. 

I wish I knew more. 

After having 5 kids, I was used to having some answers, some ideas. You know, not being totally lost in the discipline arena. I've been sent back to Kindergarten.

I also wish I had infinite batches of patiences stuffed in my pockets. 

Then I would pull some out every dinner as my toddler grabbed her crotch with a look of immediate danger on her face. And as she sauntered into the bathroom, playing with stray toys and la-te-da-ing her way, I wouldn't roll my eyes or rush her. And I would probably even let her wash her hands until she was tired of it. Which could be bedtime. Or summertime. 

And sometimes I really wish I had super powers. I think I would choose to grow 2 long arms out of my back. With an eyeball on each palm. That way I could be changing the laundry and following the toddler around and checking those math problems at the same time. How sweet would that be?

Oh that little toddler has wiggled and giggled her way into my heart and I will love her forever! I wish I could be this perfect mom for her and her siblings. But alas, it is not so.

For some reason, God just meets me here in my weakness instead of giving me super powers. I guess I'm ok with that.

One of favorite verses is Matthew 5:3:

Those people who know they have great spiritual needs have good things coming,
because the kingdom of heaven belongs to them.

You know, if given the choice I would rather just not have those great spiritual needs. But God says I am blessed! I have good things coming my way because of them. He says the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to me! 

When I am aware of my GSN (Great Spiritual Needs) then I am at Jesus' feet, begging him for help! I need you Jesus! Don't you dare leave me! I will.be.screwed.

And that is where he wants us, isn't it?

Heavily relying on Him.

I am no Super-Anything.

But I have a SuperDaddy that I am leaning on really heavily. And that is way better anyway!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Cari- How true it is that adoption can bring out a parent's strongest weaknesses. I have lived it twice- both differing just enough to pull out all of my ugly. Yet, you are so right. God is faithful. He is all-knowing. And he is right next to you. Language barriers shift. Kids grow up. For that matter, so do parents. Hang in there. You have an amazing journey that you are walking. Angie (www.chinaforasister.blogspot.com)

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