Thursday, January 31, 2013

Sad with Lots of Happy

On Monday we received some shocking news in our inbox.

The little J-man that we loved for one week in Uganda, passed away. Quietly one night around Christmas time, he slipped from this world into a highly superior one.

Here is a little bit of our story with baby J. If you are new to my blog and want to know more, that is.

I looked around the kitchen and saw wide-eyes, watery eyes, sobbing face, wrinkled brow and a lot of sadness. One of my kids immediately sees the beauty in death and never shed a tear but announced "J is with Jesus!" We talked a lot about J in heaven and being with Jesus and how happy he must be.

Then my 9 yo decides we need a memorial. So I leave it up to the kids to plan and I wasn't disappointed. Although Max was. "Hey! Don't you need a dead body for a memorial? This isn't right! It's supposed to be outside." 

Fortunately I love the frank sincerity of kids.

After sharing memories of our time with J, watching a slideshow made by my 11 yo, reading Psalm 139 and telling Jesus how we felt, it was over. It felt like that was what my kids needed to deal with their mixed feelings about the death. 

Adult feelings seem to be a bit more complicated. Jon and I had many emotions and questions yesterday. Especially: Would he have died if we had brought him home?

To which God answered: Was his passing a surprise to me? Do you think I didn't factor this in when I told you that he was not your son? Trust me! Trust that you heard me then and what I said then, still stands now. Trust me that I am good.

So I am.

Here are some of the images we look and at and remember.

Zoe reading him a book as we wait for our court ruling.

Court Day!

After all the bumpy van rides, J seemed happiest just laying still without too much physical touch. But there never was a whole lot of quiet going on.

Jon saying good-bye the day we left.

While there is still some sadness lingering in our home, there is much more joy. We are so happy that baby J gets to be with Jesus and laugh and run and jump! Hurray for wholeness and freedom!

Heaven now looks even more appealing!

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